Thanksgiving and self defense

Life is a beautiful thing. As my children grow and experience more of it I can't help but see it from a different perspective myself. Things I used to stress over and take so seriously (and still do from time to time) just don't seem important in the face of life's greatest blessings- people to love.

I am truly thankful this year for the many people who have touched my life- for the gift of knowing them, the pleasure of loving them, and the knowledge that they are safe and happy. Cailyn made my week by expressing an expectation that she would be feasting with her siblings; an honor I don't take for granted. I don't think I gave much thought to holidays with my family at her age, I was far more interested in "my own life." I feel blessed beyond words that her life naturally and comfortably includes us. So all six of my children sat down at my table, accompanied by Joey- Cailyn's long time beau- and gave thanks for the privilege of being family.

Jon is off having an adventure of a lifetime, with his parents and brother- a blessing that we are each grateful for as well. His fondest Thanksgiving memories involved his family's annual trips into Mexico, something he has missed the past two decades. So this year they are all traveling to Golendrinas (Cave of the Swallows) where he and Chris (along with some friends) will rappel 1200 feet into an immense cave- then, of course they have to climb back out. Fun!

We are having mucho fun ourselves. Orion, Rheannon, Rowan, Willow and I spent some time working on an obstacle course in our pasture. We found, rather the dogs found, a snake while we were there and Orion educated us on the five defenses of the Puffing Adder.

All Hallows

I love Halloween. I love the crisp autumn nights, the changing leaves, the early dark and the opportunity to be someone remarkable (if only for a few hours). Halloween in Texas lacks most of the elements I most enjoyed as a child but the magic is alive and well in my children's imaginations, if no longer my own.

I took the easy way out and pulled on Dad's buckskin shirt. I have mixed feelings about doing so because people are always so impressed but the accomplishment isn't mine and I feel like I'm stealing credit for what I know was weeks of hard work. I did braid my own hair and for me that's an accomplishment that warrants some recognition.

The kids never cease to surprise me. Willow was a butterfly princess- not to be confused with a fairy princess, princess fairy, or any variation thereof (all prior manifestations of our Halloween Willow). Rowan began the night as Darth Mahl but had a reaction to the face paint that necessitated a quick change into Ninja man. Orion's costume is open to interpretation. He wore a sheet and a roll of cellophane- (at least for the first half of the night- I won't tell you how he finished the evening). Rheannon made an awesome David Bowie and I'm fairly impressed she even knows who he is. They all had a great time and consumed pounds of sugar and endured days of lectures about how "we are going to get serious about the food we eat and quit with all the garbage." Orion is the master of the yeah-mom eye roll that lets me know I'm not being taken seriously. We'll just see about that..... yes we will.

Butterflies and photographs

Somehow I managed the impossible. I got all six of my children in one place at the same time and most of them were clean. It's amazing what they can do when sufficiently motivated. I am pleased to say it does not take bribery to motivate them but they generally respond to a request from a family member for help. This time it was a desire to take portraits to surprise their dad for Christmas. The portrait part we managed; the surprise part, not so much. I failed to make the point to Auburn that it was to be a secret. In my defense how was I supposed to know she had suddenly decided to talk to grown ups?

We went down to Blue Hole and had a wonderful time. The monarchs are migrating through and the trees were alive with fluttering wings. Rowan tested the water solubility of his leather shoes and Willow experimented with natural dies on her white dress. Orion dangled precariously from a tree and Rheannon threatened to flitter off with the butterflies. Cailyn and Auburn managed to keep everybody roped in and together took some very nice photos- Orion probably won the prize though because he photographed Auburn and not only got her to smile but actually laugh. (not that Auburn is a sour person, she's charming, delightful, and even silly- but also 16 so those qualities are reserved for non family members).

All in all it was a wonderfully priceless day and I am glad to have the photos to prove it.

Titan of the trees

With the return of school the older kids are all busy with the details of their own lives. This leaves Rowan, especially, feeling lonely and bored. We found a great book at the library about really messy experiments and have exploded grapes, launched nickles (instead of the suggested tomatoes), crushed cans, dropped watermelons, and basically added to the overall disarray of our environment. But sometimes throwing eggs or hurling bananas at your mother just don't satisfy a kid's more primal needs. So I finally decided to reclaim a bit of our Blue Hole heritage and, with some friends in tow, we trespassed on our old stomping grounds.

Willow, Cicely, and Clovis stripped down to their bare bottoms and dived right in but Rowan decided to get wet one garment at a time. Mostly he lurked around the edges- something that paid off when he caught a tiny frog- and then decided to do some tree climbing. He was quickly joined by an admiring group of lesser skilled tree huggers and we both realized that Willow needs some serious arboreal experience if she wishes to remain in this family. By her age all the others had found their ways to the top of more than one precarious perch and little Miss Thing couldn't seem to grasp (literally) the concept of tree scaling. Lucky for them both this particular educational inadequacy piques me, so we'll just have to make regular visits to the wilds of Blue Hole to polish our tree climbing skills.

P.S. My own private Kudo to the always lovely Vera, who wasn't quite up for skinny dipping but didn't hesitate to strip off her shoes and conquer the "snake" tree- skirt and all.

Education, anxiety, and dreams of flying

Autumn has always been my favorite time of year. I was perhaps the weirdest kid in the world, I loved going back to school. Though Texas hasn't been very obliging with Autumn weather, summer has officially come to an end with a return to school. My kids seem to have inherited my unusual attitude about organized education and have enthusiastically returned to academia. Auburn is starting her senior year at the Katherine Ann Porter charter school, and she loves it. Orion made the decision to go back to the public junior high instead of homeschooling as he had planned. He loves his classes, is excited about playing the saxophone again (especially because this year he's likely to be first chair) and he's ecstatic about being chosen to be teacher's aid to his favorite teacher. Rheannon returned to the Montessori school thanks to her very generous teacher and administrator; and she loves it. Rowan and Willow are still home schooling and for the first time Rowan is really excited about learning new things.
Despite my earlier statement about loving the return to school, I found that I wasn't very excited about it this semester. I could be graduating in December but instead of being relieved to be so close to done I was anxious about how I could manage with all my other obligations. Ultimately I decided to focus on a mere four things- starting my massage business, home schooling the little kids, writing a book/screenplay, and parenting all of my kids. I know it seems lazy of me but what can I say, I've always been lazy.
Orion has renewed his interest in making and breaking things that fly. He discovered video of an ultralight model plane and is certain he can build one. He looked into the cost of the parts and discovered he could buy a model airplane for less and after he crashes it (and if history is any judge this should happen very soon) he can use the parts to build another plane. He ordered the plane and asked every day (EVERY DAY- 10 to 20 times a day!) when it would arrive. Thankfully it appeared on our door step exactly on time- lest the stress of waiting cause my 14 year old son to suffer a coronary or worse an unfortunate strangulation at the hands of his irritated mother.

Orion loves several things passionately; fishing, flying, building things, breaking things, and his all time favorite past time- opening things. So the arrival of something he could open, build, fly, and break could only be topped if he somehow manages to figure out how to fish with it. Does he look excited or what?

driving, diving, and barefoot play

More big changes around here. Auburn bought a car- a little Geo Prism, got her lisence, and learned about insurance and registration. She's a good driver and a responsible young woman so I don't worry too much about her out there on the road. Actually Cailyn pretty much broke me of that habit- she blazed a wide trail and I'm sure one day her siblings will thank her for having worn me down before they got to dating/driving age.

The other kids are spending as much time as possible in the water- it's regularly over 100 degrees here. Orion gets taller everyday and can catch 4 knots- this is an accomplishment that has profound meaning in his life. "Knots" refers to the number of times the ring-swing chain is knotted, thus making it shorter and the reach to catch the ring harder. Locals know all about "the ring" and the history and culture (including lingo) that is associated with it. Jon grew up "catching the ring" and sharing that part of his childhood with his kids has been important. Our big girls are part of a very small female contingent of ring jumpers and I'm proud to see Rheannon joining that group.

Houston, Baby!

Virginia had a Microsoft conference in Houston and invited the kids and I to spend a few days with her. Cailyn was unable to go, at the last moment, a fact that disappointed everyone. Still the other kids had a great time. I think Auburn was in her element- it took her two seconds to notice every detail of the skyline, a remarkable occurrence as she once asked me, "when did we get goats?"- uhm... over a year ago. I'm glad to note that she's not too refined just yet, she still had enough country girl in her to flop down in the grass and roll down a hill with her siblings.

They all were quite at home in the heated, rooftop pool, enjoyed the end-of-conference firework display, contemplated fine art at the Museum of Art, ate like I hadn't fed them in weeks, and played hard anywhere and everywhere they could. I did enjoy watching them like that, they don't get much opportunity these days to just play- especially the older kids with the younger ones. What an amazing group they are- kind to each other, helpful, considerate and very bonded. We are so fortunate. And Thank You Virginia for the wonderful vacation.

Orion turned 14! The boy hasn't gained an ounce in over a year but I swear he's grown six inches. He's like pulled taffy, longer and thinner by the moment. As usual he wanted fishing gear for his birthday though this year it's fly fishing that has his interest. Rheannon motivated the other kids to pitch in for a fly tying kit. He has already made every fly in the pamphlet that came with the kit and has invented several of his own. Now if only there were a good place to go fishing.

Cailyn (and I) graduated from massage school. A remarkably anticlimactic event, or non-event. It seems increasingly obvious that the school is far more interested in what it's students can do for the school than in what the school can do for the students. They told us to invite our families, something a few of our classmates actually did, and then these 'guests' were expected to stand along the wall while an instructor we had never met prior to that day passed out 'diplomas' that didn't even have our individual names on them, or any reference to what we were graduating from. I know Cailyn should be proud of what she has accomplished, she's a very good massage therapist, but obviously she's less than thrilled with the pomp of these particular circumstances.

Changes

So many changes happening around here. So many milestones reached, so many new trails blazed, so many dreams conceived. I like this photo because it's so representative of who we all are; not just of Auburn who is the literal funky, barefoot driver here. We are all going new places and doing so in our own unconventional ways.

Cailyn no longer "lives" here. She's finding her own way in life and doing an amazing job of that. She quit her job hostessing and waiting tables in favor of a summer job cleaning cabins at a nearby retreat. She likes the laid back atmosphere and even enjoys the work. She's not finding time for painting but is realizing that she needs to make time if that is what she wants to do in life. We all hope she doesn't let the mundane demands of life drain her creativity from her.

Auburn is working at a local graphic design studio and is very good at her job. She has also conquered the challenges of driving a standard and feels a sense of satisfaction that she can do something that many adults can't do, figuratively and literally, change gears. She is getting the opportunity to create almost daily and I never cease to be amazed at how many different mediums she has mastered.

Orion is splitting his time between working with his dad and trying to catch the biggest fish in the river. He spends hours watching youtube video about fishing and has learned more than I ever wanted to know. More and more he is living up to his nickname, Huck Finn. I wish we lived in a world where he could take a raft and spend a week or two navigating a river. Still, in spite of life's limitations he does a fair job of finding adventure.

Rheannon is growing in leaps and bounds and is no longer a little girl but every bit the adolescent. I get a kick out of hearing the older girls say, "Rheannon is the prettiest one." I don't know that any one of them can claim that title but I do respect that they don't feel the need to compete for it and are willing to just award it to their little sister. (I do suspect that Willow thinks the title should be hers and no doubt in time she'll demand it.) Rhea is home more than any of the older kids and so has taken it upon herself to entertain the younger kids. They have been building a fort in the barn and playing all manner of creative games. I do wish that girl had the opportunity to have the childhood we had. She needs a horse and thousands of acres of wilderness to get lost in.

Rowan and Willow are just busy discovering the limits of their existance. What happens if I break this? What happens if I mix these things together? What happens if I throw all this stuff up in the air?...... they are spending time learning how to swim and that is at least productive.

For those who didn't know, Jon and I are divorced. We are both doing well and are even friends. Jon has started persuing music again and is being paid to play at the local wine bar. He's writing new songs, picking up instruments I think he forgot he had, and even spending time making music with his brother. It's good to see him creating in that way and I think he feels like a part of him is waking back up.

I'm not finding the mental time to write but I am drawing and even painting again- something I really haven't done in years (except for the few paintings that were required for art class). We are likely to freak out the whole world by becoming a pair of bohemians while actively trying to raise more of the same.

Young at Art Show

Three of our talented kids participated in an area wide art show- currently on display through July at the community center- and Cailyn was interviewed for the local paper regarding the show and her artistic philosophy. I enjoyed reading how each girl described what art meant to her and had quite a chuckle at how revealing those statements were. Cailyn's read: "Art is my meaning, a beautiful philosophy of my human potential. It is truth, the connotation that perhaps is the only way to accurately convey dreams. It is who I am, packed full of symbolism of my being." While Auburn's statement read: "Art is how I express myself without having to use words, which can be tedious and usually meaningless." And Rheannon simply said, "Art is joy."
I'm with Rhea on this one, their art definitely brings me joy.

Blue Hole

The four younger kids and I spent the afternoon at Blue Hole. This place is more than a park, for us it was home for several years and the kids all have a strong attachment to the place. It was nice to see Orion old enough to really compete at ring catching though I was amused to see that Rheannon's tree climbing has suffered with age- I guess now she realizes she could fall. Rowan and Willow tried their darndest to catch some shiners and then we all wandered down stream and experienced open-mouthed shock to discover that the creek isn't just low, but actually dry. I guess it's true that you can't go home again. I feel sorry for my kids watching this beloved childhood spot dry up and die.

First friends

Willow has many friends and is fortunate to have two that are very special. The little blondie in the swing, Helen, is Willow's "first friend." Her mommy, Lisa, caught Willow when she was born and I caught Helen. They have literally known each other their whole lives. Lucky girls.

Rheannon

I'm realizing I don't have many photos of Rhea. She's at that age where a camera pointed in her direction sends her flying for cover. Still I'm persistant and occasionally catch her with her guard down.

She is twelve now and has been attending the Montessori school for three years. They all love her there and say she's the heart of the school. I don't doubt it for a minute. We don't know if she'll go back next year as Orion is home schooling so it makes sense for her to as well- also her best friend starts high school next year and I know things won't be the same without her.

All things being equal

There is a debate around here as to who is taller- Cailyn or Auburn. I think it's too close to call.
Cailyn is done growing and Auburn might squeeze out a few more millimeters but it looks to me like they'll probably be the same height. They are both 5'8" so neither one is going to be wearing my pants- they do wear everything else though. Guess my hopes are pinned on Orion (height wise, not for the pants wearing).

Auburn

Auburn finished her junior year with honors and was given an internship at a graphic design studio in town. They love her work and are allowing her to use their equipment to make a portfolio of her own. She's a remarkable artist and a very unique young woman. I enjoy watching my kids each blaze their own trail. They are more self possessed and confident than I ever was. I guess I did something right.

River Days

Cailyn isn't the only one growing up. Orion seems to have grown about six inches in the last year and I doubt he's gained an ounce. He and Rowan and Rheannon are already more at home in the river than anywhere else this summer. They fish, swim, and enjoy each other. I'm glad we live within walking distance of the water- it's so hot here already that I'm contemplating moving into the fridge.

Willow is enjoying the water as well.

Graduation Day

It's official. Our girl is all grown up. We sweated our way through a graduation ceremony, without air conditioning, and watched Cailyn march barefoot up the isle to claim her diploma. I was congratulated several times but have to say the accomplishment was all Cailyn's. I like to think we gave her a foundation but the wings she sprouted all on her own. (in case you can't tell that's Cailyn sitting cross legged on the end.)

Mary Lynn

Just wanted to take a moment to talk about another beautiful girl in our lives. Though we haven't seen Mary Lynn in a painfully long time she does a good job of keeping up with her crazy Aunt Cindy and I am very grateful. She is pretty isn't she?

Best Friends

Willow has had a unique experience for one of my children. She alone has had "friends" since the day she was born. She has grown up knowing and loving the same group of amazing children their entire lives. Still there are two that stand out above the others and soon she will be facing the loss of one of those when her dear friend Cicely moves with her family to England. You can tell these girls love each other and we all hope they find a way to remain close all the way across the ocean. Cicely and her family have been a wonderful part of my life and I love each of them dearly. Just thought I'd throw that in because someday I hope they read this blog as a way of keeping up with the Claytons.

Higher education

Cailyn got word concerning the full scholarship to Berea in Kentucky. She took too long getting the final information in (a letter of recommendation, that the teacher told her was sent long ago) to qualify for this fall. That's fine with her as she wanted to take a semester off and start college in the spring. She can always reapply. And now she has clarity that this is, in fact, what she wants.

birthdays and graduations

Time brings changes of its own. Do absolutely nothing and still there are events and milestones. Cailyn turned 18, with absolutely no hoopla or ceremony. Not because I didn't feel ceremony was warented but simply because she was "too old" for that stuff and prefered to spend the day camping with friends. The irony was that we got her camping gear for her birthday but haven't had five quiet minutes with her since then so now she gets them for graduation (am I stingy or what?). There seems no end to her accomplishements at the moment; she completed the educational portion of massage school and started internship, graduates with honors from high school the end of May and massage school in early July. She interviewed for a full scholarship in Kentucky over Thanksgiving and might well be headed that direction by late summer.
Auburn is taking a different approach to life and left the highschool she was attending- no longer interested in band or college credit courses- and started the charter school Cailyn attends at the semester. She had accumulated enough credits to potentially graduate at the end of this year but as she's already skipped a year, decided she didn't want to do that. She has dazzled her art teacher with her broad talent and got a perfect score on one piece of art she submitted in the contest Cailyn won last year and placed second with another piece (the judge flat out told her she didn't like the artist whose work inspired that piece so I don't think the results were fair). She is, as always, excelling in everything she does and she seems much happier in the more casual atmosphere of the new school.
Orion got a perfect score on an advance placement science exam and then asked if he could be homeschooled next year. I allowed the girls to make that decision so I guess I'll allow him the same option. He's a hard worker and a charming guy so he'll do well where ever he is- provided of course that he can charm me.
Rheannon and Rowan both had birthdays and the biggest news there is that she smashed her finger in March and might need surgery. We're still hoping it will mend on its own but the orthopedist gave it a 10% chance. It doesn't bother her much so she tends to overuse it. It is hard for her to play the guitar and since that's important to her we'll do whatever needs done to keep that option open to her.
My only news is that I changed majors and will graduate in the Fall. I'm anxious to finish up this semester so I can spend more time playing with the kids. They've all been very patient- especially Willow who needs to talk 80% of the time she's awake and who has been very understanding that I can't devote that much time to listening.

high custom baby

I've enjoyed the little glimpses into the growing Lockhart family so much that I've decided to do a little bragging of my own. My kids are nearly as cute as theirs! I have no idea what this might become but it seemed about time I take another halting step into the twenty first century. So here goes.